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You can date everything in Date Everything!

Team17 and Sassy Chap Games’ dating sim game turns household objects to very dateable mates.

Have you ever looked at something in your home like a dining room table or an adjustable height desk and wondered what it would be like to go on a date with it? Also, were you sober at the time? A new dating sim game called Date Everything! will let you see just what it’s like to search for true, meaningful love with the things you see almost every day (in the cleanest way possible, of course).

The surreal sounding dating sim game comes from an LA-based studio called Sassy Chap Games founded by a group of voice actors who’ve worked on games and shows like Critical Role, HiFi-Rush, One Punch Man, Final Fantasy XV, X-Men ‘97 and Genshin Impact. The indie game publisher Team17 will distribute the game for PC on Steam, the Nintendo Switch, PlayStation 5 and Xbox Series X/S, according to a press release.

The game puts players in the role of a lonely heart who receives a special pair of glasses called a “Dateviator” that transforms items in their home into human date candidates. For instance, the vacuum cleaner turns into a hunky heartthrob named Hoove and the laundry hamper transforms into a fiery redhead named Harper. Date Everything! has 100 possible mates in your home with their own voices, styles and personalities.

You get to know items like the refrigerator or the drawing room piano in their human forms. Depending on how things go, the relationship can end in one of three ways: Love, Friend or Hate. These relationships create a chain of different possible paths in which your choices influence the outcome along a “critical path tying it all together,” according to the press release.

Date the vacuum cleaner Hoove in the dating sim game Date Everything!
Team17/Sassy Chap Games

Since Date Everything! comes from a studio founded by voice actors, all of the characters are fully voiced. Some of the more familiar names include Felicia Day from Supernatural and Mystery Science Theater 3000, Johnny Yong Bosch from Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers and Grey DeLisle from Scooby-Doo and The Last Airbender.

Date Everything! doesn’t just sound like a new and interesting twist on the dating sim game concept. It also sounds like a great way to boost your ego. If you’re down because you don’t have someone in your life, at least you can play the game and realize, “Well, at least I’m not trying to date my garbage disposal.”